Faith Hunter Brantley

#becausebaby

I’m 23 weeks now. (for the not-pregnant, that’s 1 week shy of 6 months) 16 weeks & 2 days to go. Give or take a few. So, what’s going on with me? Well, that depends on what minute you ask. I’m blaming my fluctuating moods and cravings and body issues on baby. In fact, I’ve been usingContinue reading “#becausebaby”

My pretty parasite

I’m supposed to be blogging about my pregnancy. Posting progression pics. Describing new symptoms. Cravings. But somehow, I can hardly bring myself to do it. It’s all been said already. Hasn’t it? I’m not the first woman to be pregnant, and I damn sure won’t be the last. Because, sex. Yeah, but all pregnancies areContinue reading “My pretty parasite”

The Brand New Heavies

I don’t talk about my breasts often, but when I do, I refer to them as boobs. Less out loud than in my mind. Caitlin Moran actually has a really interesting chapter about what women call their “feminine bits” in her book How To Be A Woman. I think she goes with “tits”, but she’sContinue reading “The Brand New Heavies”

Eat ALL The Things

Feb 24, 2014 Hello. I’ll be 8 weeks tomorrow ( I think…depending on what the doctor says at today’s appointment), and I am completely driven by eating. Unlike when I was pregnant with Leila, all I want to do is eat. I’ve had very little nausea, usually only 1st thing in the morning…but I’ve only pukedContinue reading “Eat ALL The Things”

Positively pregnant

Thursday, February 6, 2014 10:00 am I’m sitting at my desk at work, counting and re-counting the days. It should have happened by now. Actually, I should have started like around the 1st. It’s the 6th. 12:30 pm Leila is home sick, so I stop in at lunch to check on her before going onContinue reading “Positively pregnant”

Implosure

It takes about 6 1/2 hours to drive from Houston to Arkadelphia. That’s a lot of thinking time, and that’s what I do whenever I make that drive. Think and sing along to my 90’s R & B playlist made especially for the occasion. (Ooo yeah) Arkadelphia (no relation to Philadelphia) is a small town in southwestContinue reading “Implosure”

The Things I Couldn’t Teach You

(An open letter to my former students) When you were my students, I taught you how to use a comma, how to develop an argument, how to analyze literature. I taught you how to cite your sources, how to recognize logical fallacies, how to converse knowledgeably, how to identify anaphora, tetracolon, asyndeton. But there wereContinue reading “The Things I Couldn’t Teach You”

How to make the world suck less

It smells like pee in here. Pee and hopelessness. I sat clutching my call number, scanning the room for the source of the sour smell. I turned to my husband, nose wrinkled in disgust. “Do you smell that?” “What?” “It smells like pee.” “Oh, is that what that is? Maybe some kid couldn’t wait toContinue reading “How to make the world suck less”

Wait…What?

Yes, my friends. The woman who audibly scoffed at the idea of having another child is indeed having another child. This should be rich. Thus the slight redirection of this blog. Not to say that there aren’t still lots of stupid people out there about whom to write (or more specifically, my encounters with them).Continue reading “Wait…What?”

It’s a gas

I’m inordinately paranoid about going to the dentist. Afraid that the drill will slip out of my dentist’s hands and accidentally bore out my eyeball, or that I will have to have a root canal. And it happened. The root canal, not the eyeball thing, which totally could happen. I’ve seen a lot of medical tvContinue reading “It’s a gas”